Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize