how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
