I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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