you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize