I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
