I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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