best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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