I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize