We're facebook friends in real life
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
