And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize