He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This house was built for laser tag.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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