Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
How external is "for external use only"?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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