PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
...so i touched it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
