he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize