He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
