4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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