What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
