I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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