i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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