i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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