I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
