I want to have your abortion
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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