Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
