I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
