paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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