love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
