Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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