yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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