I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
