i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
