Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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