So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
