Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
