you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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