Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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