9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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