I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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