i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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