Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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