That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
