Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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