barbara walters just said penis...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
