There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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