last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
