I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
