I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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