it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
