I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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