she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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