Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
