high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
