i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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