I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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