Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
