my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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