i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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