Betty ford says i'm here all night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
