we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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