hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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