If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
