could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
