It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
