We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
