Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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