if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
