I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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