maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
