I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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