My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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