my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
