Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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