Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
