You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize