Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
