I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
