Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
do nipples grow back?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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